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When you're sick, a $48 Slurpee is good for you.
Iran doesn't have to make nukes.
Life is so hard -- don't you ever just want to give up?
Isn't advertising soap as "anti-bacterial" a little redundant?
The great thing about Americans is that when they get fat, they get really frickin' fat.
They say obesity is a virus, but you're not going to have warn your exes that you've become fat.
Applebee's gives its waiters pins after they stay for two years.
You don't think God sees all the stuff you do?
Can you imagine if I had ketchup bottles for legs?
I found the golden ticket in my onion rings!
All my friends are good looking.
Lasik surgery can cost $295 per eye.