Boobs are the center of all power.
Drivers should be forced to race with their wives.
Why can't men have a Bad Weiner Day?
I think I'm suffering from Road Rage Finger.
Send Bill to Heaven with a Slim Jim.
If guys were a sports team, they'd be 0-fer.
Nobody wants to be the grouchy old man on the corner, but we all turn into him eventually.
The older you get, the more people think they have to listen to you.
Going to a club is no fun when you're 50, out of touch and completely out of your element.
When you're a kid you were in the Playboy models' ballpark. Now, you're not.