Nobody wants to be the grouchy old man on the corner, but we all turn into him eventually.
When you're a kid you were in the Playboy models' ballpark. Now, you're not.
The older you get, the more people think they have to listen to you.
Going to a club is no fun when you're 50, out of touch and completely out of your element.
A 19-year-old ran for mayor of Muskegee, OK, and won 75% of the vote.
Once the kids leave the house, there's no one to blame anything on anymore.
If guys were a sports team, they'd be 0-fer.
Boobs are the center of all power.
I think I'm suffering from Road Rage Finger.
Send Bill to Heaven with a Slim Jim.