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Chris' grandmother doesn't understand instant replay.
If you do drugs for most of your life, you'll end up with a Comedy Central Presents special.
Don't ever fall in love with a heroin junkie.
You can't just sprinkle heroin on things and call it a new drug.
The state police love magic.
It would be great if you could give kids valium.
Jazz began in New Orleans and spread like a venereal disease.
Greg Giraldo would talk about performing comedy like he was the Rolling Stones.
Stephanie's not nice and doesn't care.
Every 30 seconds, a comedian bombs somewhere.