This is my second marriage, and I have a kid from my first
marriage 'cause I like souvenirs.
Posted: 06/10/2004
In some ways, all men are the same. For example, why do you all
like to have sex first thing in the morning? Do we smell good first thing in the...
Posted: 06/10/2004
I know where my daughter is every night. She's with her
friends. They come to my house, they go in her room, they close the door, and they light...
Posted: 06/10/2004
I don't really think anybody gets off properly in 69. Matter of
fact, I think 69 is rude. It's rude. It's like saying to someone, 'Listen, we're...
Posted: 06/10/2004
Halloween is pay day, folks. A lot of parents are strange; they
say, 'Ration the candy.' I say, 'Let them eat as much as they want -- they throw...
Posted: 06/10/2004
I met a guy in a bar, which is generally not a good idea.
That's like going grocery shopping when you're hungry and you bring home stuff that you...
Posted: 01/31/2000
I have a 14-year-old daughter. I had her when I was five.
Posted: 01/31/2000
I'm watching TV with my father late at night 'cause he doesn't
sleep. And you know that commercial for 'Save the Children'? The one that comes on...
Posted: 05/11/2004
How much does MapQuest suck? I got so burned by MapQuest. Last
weekend, just for the hell of it, I typed in my address, 76th Street, and that I...
Posted: 06/10/2004
I married a lawyer, which I know sounds very impressive. Every
girl dreams, when they grow up, they're gonna marry a doctor, marry a lawyer. But...
Posted: 06/10/2004