She'll leave you with just your toaster and a fork.
Views: 1,026
Posted: 02/24/1992
Dana Gould - Reasoning with Children
The minute that you think your kids have reason, they're the worst people in the world.
Tags: Dana Gould (16), kids (831), Live at Gotham (340)
Posted: 07/12/07
Views: 2,951
Dana Gould - L.A. Liberalism
People in L.A. are liberal, but only about certain things.
Tags: Dana Gould (16), kids (831), marriage (547)
Posted: 07/12/07
Views: 1,675
Dana Gould - Common Boxing
Boxing should open up its parameters.
Tags: Dana Gould (16), sports (274), pop culture (210)
Posted: 06/01/04
Views: 1,439
Dana Gould - Alien Abductions
It's always the same type of people who get abducted by aliens.
Tags: Dana Gould (16), ethnic (870), stereotypes (440)
Posted: 05/11/04
Views: 3,739
Dana Gould - Traveling
Every town in America has a porn shop.
Tags: Dana Gould (16), imitations (847), travel (301)
Posted: 12/21/98
Views: 1,380
Dana Gould - The Moon Sucks
Neil Armstrong wasn't as eloquent as everyone thinks.
Tags: Dana Gould (16), imitations (847), impressions (466)
Posted: 12/21/98
Views: 10,140
Dana Gould - Purgatory
Death is gonna suck.
Tags: Dana Gould (16), work/office (459), driving (336)
Posted: 12/21/98
Views: 1,149
Dana Gould - The Afterlife
You'd feel like a moron if you got to Hell, and it was exactly what everyone says it is.
Tags: Dana Gould (16), imitations (847), food (719)
Posted: 12/21/98
Views: 3,076
Dana Gould - Worse Jobs
There are worse jobs than rodeo clown.
Tags: Dana Gould (16), work/office (459), death (314)
Posted: 12/21/98
Views: 827
Dana Gould - Relationships
Dana had the worst sex with his girlfriend on her parents' dinner table -- during dinner.
Tags: Dana Gould (16), sex (1202), men/women (1155)
Posted: 12/21/98
Views: 1,912
Dana Gould - Break-Up
Dana went shopping after his girlfriend broke up with him.
Tags: Dana Gould (16), dating (786), The A-List (486)
Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 2,013
Richard Lewis - Sexual Nicknames
Richard needs heat.
Tags: Richard Lewis (60), sex (1202), men/women (1155)
Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 1,945
Richard Lewis - Harriet
Beware Hitler, Hussein and Harriet.
Tags: Richard Lewis (60), sex (1202), men/women (1155)
Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 1,596
Richard Lewis - Bad in Bed
Richard was with the wrong woman last week.
Tags: Richard Lewis (60), sex (1202), men/women (1155)
Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 1,742
Dana Gould - Eating Out With the Family
If anyone spills anything, Dad will stick a fork right in your eyeball.
Tags: Dana Gould (16), kids (831), food (719)
Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 1,280
Richard Lewis - Relationship Trouble
Richard has heard that he's great in bed.
Tags: Richard Lewis (60), sex (1202), men/women (1155)
Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 345
Richard Lewis - Nightmare Girlfriend
Richard's last girlfriend had a lot of ex-boyfriends.
Tags: Richard Lewis (60), sex (1202), men/women (1155)
Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 4,063
Judy Toll - Neuroses
Judy recently forgave herself for causing a major car accident.
Tags: Judy Toll (2), men/women (1155), dating (786)
Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 1,708
Richard Lewis - Intercourse Double
With Richard, you're not losing an orgasm, you're gaining a friend.
Tags: Richard Lewis (60), sex (1202), men/women (1155)
Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 3,945
Bob Nickman - Man/Woman
Bob is all things to all people.
Tags: Bob Nickman (3), men/women (1155), The A-List (486)
Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 1,995
