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It is actually better now to have no food at all than Scottish food.
Beer drinkers are not as pretentious as wine drinkers.
You can tell a lot about a country from what it eats first thing in the morning.
The Scottish invented clear tape.
You can tell a Scottish bartender is hammered because he's so hammered.
A Scottish nationalist cab driver can show you London in about 10 minutes.
Sean Connery's a god in Scotland.
A Scottish woman asks Todd Barry if he's gay.
Chris Mata's right eye cares about litter.
Bills don't care about race, religion or what happened in your past.