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It is actually better now to have no food at all than Scottish food.
Unlike most Scots, Danny Bhoy is half-Indian so he doesn't get sunburned watching fireworks.
Beer drinkers are not as pretentious as wine drinkers.
Londoners are way too polite.
Every town in America has a porn shop.
Fried Snickers bars and pub food can make even John Pinette yearn for an arugula salad.
John Pinette doesn't go to buffets much anymore, due to health reasons -- and restraining orders.
French is a beautiful language.
John Pinette's dad's Irish friends gave him the best diet advice he ever heard.
Ireland is not like the soap commercials.