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Demetri Martin

Watch new episodes of "Important Things with Demetri Martin" Thursdays at 10pm / 9c.

"Important Things with Demetri Martin: Season One" is available on DVD.

Demetri Martin dropped out of NYU School of Law to pursue comedy. Since then, he has performed in most of the English-speaking countries in the world (not in South Africa or New Zealand, though) and won trophies for comedy in America, Scotland and Australia. Martin was a staff writer for "Late Night with Conan O'Brien" and has appeared on a lot of late-night television shows, both onstage and in the audience. He made a stand-up CD/DVD, "These Are Jokes," which was released via Comedy Central Records and his "Trendspotting with Demetri Martin" was a featured segment on the Emmy and Peabody Award-winning "The... [MORE]

Watch new episodes of "Important Things with Demetri Martin" Thursdays at 10pm / 9c.

"Important Things with Demetri Martin: Season One" is available on DVD.

Demetri Martin dropped out of NYU School of Law to pursue comedy. Since then, he has performed in most of the English-speaking countries in the world (not in South Africa or New Zealand, though) and won trophies for comedy in America, Scotland and Australia. Martin was a staff writer for "Late Night with Conan O'Brien" and has appeared on a lot of late-night television shows, both onstage and in the audience. He made a stand-up CD/DVD, "These Are Jokes," which was released via Comedy Central Records and his "Trendspotting with Demetri Martin" was a featured segment on the Emmy and Peabody Award-winning "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart." Martin was featured in his own one-hour stand-up special for Comedy Central, "Demetri Martin. Person." (which was also released on DVD by Comedy Central Home Entertainment and Paramount Home Entertainment). His show, Important Things with Demetri Martin -- a fusion of original sketch and stand-up -- is returning for its second season on Comedy Central.

Recently, Martin starred in the Ang Lee film, "Taking Woodstock," for Focus Features. He is writing the feature script, "Will," for Paramount Pictures and co-writing, with James Bobin, the feature script, "The Moon People," for Sony Pictures with Mosaic Media Producing. He will also be appearing in the upcoming film "Young Americans." Martin is planning to clean up his apartment some time.

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Demetri Martin Videos Demetri Martin Jokes

Demetri Martin - Findings

"Dildo" is difficult to pluralize.

Tags: Demetri Martin (19),

Demetri Martin - Jets?

Demetri Martin is unconvinced by the prestige of Employee of the Month.

Tags: Demetri Martin (19), Comedy Central Presents (1803), work/office (360)

Posted: 03/18/04
Views: 95,002

Demetri Martin - Material Enhancers

Demetri Martin adds another set of wings to a hawk.

Tags: Demetri Martin (19), Comedy Central Presents (1803), food (550)

Posted: 03/18/04
Views: 89,096

Demetri Martin - Handshake

If you cut off Demetri's handshake, he will curtsey on your ass.

Tags: Demetri Martin (19), friends (281), sports (238)

Posted: 01/13/07
Views: 63,930

Demetri Martin - Drunk Backseat Driver

Don't make the same Halloween costume mistake as Demetri Martin.

Tags: Demetri Martin (19), Comedy Central Presents (1803), alcohol (396)

Posted: 03/18/04
Views: 63,057

Demetri Martin - Harmonica

Demetri has never met a woman with a conditional identity before.

Tags: Demetri Martin (19), men/women (919), ethnic (731)

Posted: 01/13/07
Views: 61,070

Demetri Martin - Doors

Every door isn't heavy.

Tags: Demetri Martin (19), animals (439), work/office (360)

Posted: 01/13/07
Views: 49,309

Demetri Martin - Findings

Twenty seven percent of Hummer owners are pricks.

Tags: Demetri Martin (19), men/women (919), kids (642)

Posted: 01/13/07
Views: 47,592

Demetri Martin - Fifth Person

Demetri Martin writes the first book in the fifth person perspective.

Tags: Demetri Martin (19), Premium Blend (749), sports (238)

Posted: 12/31/00
Views: 45,984

Demetri Martin - Dude

Demetri Martin is not a smoker, but he does carry a lighter.

Tags: Demetri Martin (19), Comedy Central Presents (1803), music (381)

Posted: 03/18/04
Views: 42,506

Demetri Martin: Fifth Person

Some authors write in first person and others write in third person. But I'm writing my book in fifth person, so every sentence starts out with: 'I...

Posted: 12/31/2000

Demetri Martin: Neighborhood Diner

I used to eat there all the time, but not so much anymore, not since the time I went to use their bathroom, and I saw a sign that said 'Employees...

Posted: 12/31/2000

Demetri Martin: Worst Time for a Heart Attack

I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades, especially if your teammates are bad guessers. Game over means game over.

Posted: 12/31/2000

Demetri Martin: Fish Names

On Thursday, I changed the names of all my fish, and they didn't seem to mind -- especially Dead Tony.

Posted: 12/31/2000

Demetri Martin: Christmas Wrapping

I set a personal record on Christmas. I got my shopping done three weeks ahead of time. I had all the presents back at my apartment, I was halfway...

Posted: 03/18/2004

Demetri Martin: Pinata

I don't like pinatas because the pinata promotes violence against flamboyant animals.

Posted: 03/18/2004

Demetri Martin: Employee of the Month

I think Employee of the Month is a good example of when a person can be a winner and a loser at the same time.

Posted: 03/18/2004

Demetri Martin: Escalator Trip

One time, I was riding the escalator and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half.

Posted: 03/18/2004

Demetri Martin: Cactus

About a month ago, I got a cactus, and a week later, it died. I got really depressed because I was like, damn, I am less nurturing than a desert.

Posted: 03/18/2004

Demetri Martin: Cool Leather

I was at a party the other night, and I saw a guy wearing a leather jacket, and I thought, 'That is cool.' Like 10 minutes later, I saw a guy...

Posted: 03/18/2004