This is how you know you're really getting old. If go to a
nightclub and you start complaining about everything in the club: 'G**damn, the music is...
Posted: 10/30/2008
We're chasing the Taliban, but why can't we catch them? They
can't be running that fast -- they've got on slippers.
Posted: 10/30/2008
My parents have been together for over 40 years, y'all. Ain't
that something? That's a long time. Yeah, they're getting married next month, so...
Posted: 03/31/2005
We didn't have brakes. If you wanted to slow down, you skated
on grass, that's how you slowed down. If you wanted to stop, you'd head toward a tree.
Posted: 03/31/2005
Mike is the only man I know in more trouble now that he's white
than he was when he was black.
Posted: 03/31/2005
Every man in here knows the average vagina only stays ready for
30 minutes. After a while, you're not making love, you're making a campfire.
Posted: 03/31/2005
Trying to find one woman that I can spend the rest of this
weekend with.
Posted: 03/31/2005
Sex with me is like a race: we both start at the same time;
whoever gets to the promised land first is the winner.
Posted: 03/31/2005
One good piece of advice my parents gave me when I was growing
up is 'Always doo-doo before you leave the house' -- which is some of the reason why...
Posted: 03/31/2005