News anchors are so in love with themselves.
Being part of a hockey crowd is like preparing for an 18,000-person simultaneous orgasm.
Remember what a shock it was to find your grandma's false teeth in her glass of water?
Make "y" a vowel or make "g" a vowel -- just make a commitment to one rule.
All our lives, heaven is pushed on us, but what if hell is the cooler place?
You can't make up your own nickname.
One out of 10 people use the Texas Yellow Pages.