News anchors are so in love with themselves.
Being part of a hockey crowd is like preparing for an 18,000-person simultaneous orgasm.
Remember what a shock it was to find your grandma's false teeth in her glass of water?
Make "y" a vowel or make "g" a vowel -- just make a commitment to one rule.
Ain't this place beautiful with trees and junk?
All our lives, heaven is pushed on us, but what if hell is the cooler place?
One out of 10 people use the Texas Yellow Pages.