Jake Johannsen: Videos, Jokes, Tour Dates, Biography and more | Jokes.com

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Jake Johannsen

Here's the breakdown: Start with a subtle and intelligent comedy style, add four cups of convoluted stories, lightly stir with bizarre observations and add a pinch of dementia for Johannsen Strudel.

One of the finest and more cerebral comics around, Jake is a regular on David Letterman with over twenty appearances and he has been on "The Tonight Show" more than ten times. His HBO special "This'll Take About An Hour" was critically acclaimed and earned Jake an Ace Award nomination for Best Writing in an Entertainment Special.

So come on down for a heavy dose of Johannsen Strudel. With a name like Johannsen you KNOW this guy can make some serious strudel.
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Jake Johannsen Videos Jake Johannsen Jokes
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Jake Johannsen - Plastic Doll

Men are quite simple.

Tags: Jake Johannsen (37), Comedy Central Presents (1803), sex (983)

Posted: 04/03/03
Views: 4,348

Jake Johannsen - Illegal Immigration

Jake Johannsen has a solution for illegal immigration.

Tags: Jake Johannsen (37), work/office (359), Shorties Watchin' Shorties (148)

Posted: 05/18/04
Views: 2,551

Jake Johannsen - Introduction of the Band

It's fun to have a band on your show because of all the metal chicks backstage.

Tags: Jake Johannsen (37), TV (384), music (381)

Posted: 05/25/93
Views: 1,812

Jake Johannsen - Airport Escort

Once Jake gets off the plane, he's like a puppy waiting at the animal shelter.

Tags: Jake Johannsen (37), Two Drink Minimum (291), mental health (174)

Posted: 05/20/93
Views: 1,803

Jake Johannsen - Stealth Bomber

Jake wants a real invisible plane.

Tags: Jake Johannsen (37), Comedy Central Presents (1803), money (470)

Posted: 04/03/03
Views: 1,652

Jake Johannsen - Christmas Special

By the time they air this show, it could be Christmas time.

Tags: Jake Johannsen (37), Two Drink Minimum (291), Christmas (39)

Posted: 05/24/93
Views: 1,551

Jake Johannsen - Chicken Donut

Jake sampled Hong Kong's gravy-filled donut.

Tags: Jake Johannsen (37), Comedy Central Presents (1803), imitations (787)

Posted: 04/03/03
Views: 1,053

Jake Johannsen - Space Travelers

Aliens are smarter than us and they know it.

Tags: Jake Johannsen (37), Comedy Central Presents (1803), animals (439)

Posted: 04/03/03
Views: 1,019

Jake Johannsen - Cult Leader

It's much better to be the cult leader than the cult follower.

Tags: Jake Johannsen (37), sex (983), religion (341)

Posted: 05/26/93
Views: 934

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Jake Johannsen: Open Cabs

Some cabs, you get in, and they have no kind of protection, security, at all. I guess they give those to the guys who show up late: 'Maybe a couple...

Posted: 05/25/1993

Jake Johannsen: Border Security

My plan for illegal immigration is very simple: burning river of gas. Yes -- with the whole border, burning river of gas. And I say we do Canada,...

Posted: 05/18/2004

Jake Johannsen: On Extraterrestrials

They know they're smarter than us, too, because we've been beaming 'COPS' into outer space.

Posted: 04/03/2003

Jake Johannsen: Money to the Homeless

People always tell you: 'Don't give the homeless money because they're just going to spend it on booze or drugs.' I kind of feel like, 'Hey, the...

Posted: 04/03/2003

Jake Johannsen: Chinese Food

The Chinese food in China is not better than the Chinese food here, mostly because of differences of definitions of words that we have -- like, for...

Posted: 04/03/2003

Jake Johannsen: China's Population

You want to scream at people in the street: 'Stop f**king! You have to stop f**king!'... I don't think they can stop because it's so crowded. As...

Posted: 04/03/2003

Jake Johannsen: If Love Was Easy

If love was easy, there would be almost no music.

Posted: 04/03/2003

Jake Johannsen: No-Frills Men's Underwear

You look in my underwear drawer, and it's just, like -- that is to protect my pants from my ass.

Posted: 04/03/2003

Jake Johannsen: Vet Instructions

You're supposed to put it on the dog's stitches or his butt. The vet says the dog will not lick the salve because the salve tastes bad to the dog....

Posted: 04/03/2003

Jake Johannsen: Blow-Up Dolls

She's like, 'How could a man want to have sex with a plastic doll? How could a man want to put his penis in a plastic doll?' And I said, 'Well,...

Posted: 04/03/2003

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