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Nobody ever talks about the fact that forever is above you at all times.
It's 2006, where are our jetpacks?
Beached whales are some of the weirdest things you'll ever see.
"Fear Factor" has run out of things to do to its contestants.
Penguins are really dumb.
Who would boo Earth? It doesn't matter where you're from. Earth rocks! Have you seen Mars?
Don't call Daniel for an audition, he'll call you.
There's no such thing as a bad stand-up experience.
They're about to fight and I'm like Jagger at Altamont!
I probably should have dropped out of comedy that night at Rascals.
Rich recounts a horrible tour to Miami.
Fellas, stop checking out our butts.