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John Heffron

John Heffron burst onto the comedic scene during the prime of his college heyday. Although he graduated in his home state of Michigan, Heffron's priorities became clear when he began to skip class to perform live stand-up.

His first gig was on University of Michigan's campus at the Main Street Comedy Showcase. Since then, his comedy has evolved in a unique and creative fashion as he has grown from a fun-loving college student to a bewildered husband.

John's attraction to excitement and his personal vow never to perform physical labor have both inspired and motivated his successful career. The endless list of credits that comprise his impressive resume highlight his many significant accomplishments. He not only won the second season of NBC's "Last Comic Standing," but was also a finalist in the subsequent season.

Heffron's amusing and extensive material has earned him two separate half-hour specials on the hit stand-up show "Comedy Central Presents,"... [MORE]

John Heffron burst onto the comedic scene during the prime of his college heyday. Although he graduated in his home state of Michigan, Heffron's priorities became clear when he began to skip class to perform live stand-up.

His first gig was on University of Michigan's campus at the Main Street Comedy Showcase. Since then, his comedy has evolved in a unique and creative fashion as he has grown from a fun-loving college student to a bewildered husband.

John's attraction to excitement and his personal vow never to perform physical labor have both inspired and motivated his successful career. The endless list of credits that comprise his impressive resume highlight his many significant accomplishments. He not only won the second season of NBC's "Last Comic Standing," but was also a finalist in the subsequent season.

Heffron's amusing and extensive material has earned him two separate half-hour specials on the hit stand-up show "Comedy Central Presents," and he has become a regular on numerous VH1 satire series including "I love the 80s: 3D," "I Love the 70s: Volume 2," and "My Coolest Years: My First Time." In addition to being featured on Thom Filicia's "Dress My Nest," Heffron has performed on CMT's "Coming to the Stage," NBC's "Late Friday," and Comedy Central's "Premium Blend." He has made numerous appearances on "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," "Chelsea Lately' and E!'s "101 Craziest TV Moments." Heffron also shared the screen with Courtney Cox-Arquette on FX's "Dirt"

John is no stranger to live audiences, and he has taken the stage at several prestigious comedy festivals including the Las Vegas Comedy Festival, the Just for Laughs festival in Montreal and the HBO Comedy Festival in Aspen. He even had the recent honor of being a celebrity roaster for KISS' Gene Simmons on an episode of A&E's "Gene Simmons: Family Jewels"

John's first live stand-up CD, "Kid with a Cape," debuted over ten years ago. As a result of his constant touring, his routine has developed and grown and two more successful recordings, "Good Kid, Bad Adult" and "The Better Half," have been released. John also co-hosted "The Tony Rock Project" on My Networks, which appeared in 2008. Any stand-up patron can relate to this comedian's diverse material that ranges from bar hopping adventures in his twenties to married life in his thirties.

John Heffron's youthful personality and cynical wisdom result in a witty combination that nobody can resist, and he has managed to accomplish what most stand-up comedians can only dream of.

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John Heffron Videos John Heffron Jokes

John Heffron - Marriage

Nothing benefits you by telling the truth ever.

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John Heffron - Youngest Child

Nothing benefits you by telling the truth ever.

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John Heffron - Thirties

Condoms and Tums

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Posted: 01/30/04
Views: 19,264

John Heffron - Interview

Standup keeps John from picking up shovels.

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John Heffron - Bars

The "we gotta go" girl

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Posted: 01/30/04
Views: 12,159

John Heffron - Buying a Bus

Guy who bought a bus on eBay: you're John's new hero!

Tags: John Heffron (24), men/women (919), food (550)

Posted: 07/15/09
Views: 11,017

John Heffron - Video Games

Women are not like video games.

Tags: John Heffron (24), Comedy Central Presents (1803), men/women (919)

Posted: 01/29/04
Views: 9,756

John Heffron - Roommate Rob

John loves his wife but misses his roommate, Rob.

Tags: John Heffron (24), Comedy Central Presents (1803), marriage (447)

Posted: 01/11/07
Views: 8,779

John Heffron - How Women Roll

Never just hit on one girl.

Tags: John Heffron (24), men/women (919), dating (637)

Posted: 07/15/09
Views: 7,419

John Heffron - Interview

CCP: John Heffron

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John Heffron: Treat Strippers Well

You will find that they're all going to school, and they need money for books and stuff. So, you should give them all cash because, one day, you...

Posted: 01/29/2004

John Heffron: No Talking

Guys don't want to talk -- ever. We used it up the first night we met you.

Posted: 01/29/2004

John Heffron: Better Chances

I got Tums in my pocket for no reason at all. I used to carry condoms, but I know I've got a better chance of getting a stomachache than getting laid.

Posted: 01/29/2004

John Heffron: Memory Loss

They always say that the older you get, you start to lose your memory. I could be watching a TV show for 45 minutes. Then, during commercials, I...

Posted: 01/29/2004

John Heffron: Like Marines

At bars, women are like Marines: they don't leave anybody behind.

Posted: 01/29/2004

John Heffron: Need a Haircut

I told my mom I needed a haircut, and my mom goes, 'Oh, I can cut your hair for you.' Really? Hmm, I've got pictures when I was 11 that say you can't.

Posted: 01/29/2004

John Heffron: Not a Golfer

I actually got to golf recently, and I'm not a golfer. I like the beer cart girls -- that's about it.

Posted: 01/29/2004

John Heffron: Want to Get Married

I kind of wanted to get married to get my first marriage out of the way.

Posted: 02/08/2001

John Heffron: The Tsk-Tsk

That tick is a 45-minute 'You're an ass' speech, all rolled up.

Posted: 02/08/2001

John Heffron: Older Women

I'm not saying older women are sluttier; I'm just saying, an older woman isn't gonna make you wait 'til three in the morning 'cause she's got sh*t...

Posted: 01/11/2007