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Never just hit on one girl.
Nothing benefits you by telling the truth ever.
Condoms and Tums
Standup keeps John from picking up shovels.
The "we gotta go" girl
Guy who bought a bus on eBay: you're John's new hero!
Women are not like video games.
John loves his wife but misses his roommate, Rob.
CCP: John Heffron
Girls don't leave their own behind.
Men can't say "tsk."
For guys, even the need for insulin won't interfere with a friend's hook up.
John advises young guys to go after older women.
Dwayne is no longer accepting friend applications from ladies.
Ladies all have that one close guy friend, and it's wrong.
You may have to remind some friends of the opposite sex that you don't want to see them naked.
The further away John gets from the recall button, the bigger the trouble he's in.
John wants to outlaw girl glitter.