The problem with democracy is the sheer level of wackjobbery of the candidates.
Even accomplishing the impossible will never be enough for the people who know you best.
John Oliver's only major criticism of America is that it's far too big.
The center of America is not overconfident -- it's fucking insane.
America's pioneering spirit led us to push jet skis off the roof of a 10-story building.
America, you don't need books -- stick to what you're good at.
Sometimes when you're on stage, you want the crowd to enjoy you just a little bit less.
John Oliver feels creeped out when he's surrounded by all white people.
John Oliver was born 100 years too late.
What if there had been cell phones at the crucifixion?