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Kevin Brennan had to wait five hours on line at the DMV.
It's good that guys are always in the mood for sex.
Kevin isn't going to his high school reunion.
The music is too loud in bars for Kevin to meet women.
Being the designated driver is dangerous.
Kevin Brennan advises women not to waste their time faking orgasms.
A woman rejected Kevin Brennan on the subway.
Kevin has a hard time ordering Chinese food.
Kevin Brennan doesn't hold elevators for people.
How people get so fat they can't leave their houses?
People are rude in New York, aren't they? You get a lot of this
in New York: 'Hey, baby. Come on, baby.' You know, I don't like women like that.
I just don't know if women like me. I know when they don't like
me 'cause they'll say things like, 'Yeah, that's him, officer.'
Women get close to orgasms; guys don't. You ever get close to
an orgasm? Guys don't get close -- we see the finish line, we cross the finish line....
Well, you know, plants are living things, too. They're just
easier to catch.
How do you not see that coming? Don't you gradually get fatter?
It's not Willy Wonka and that blueberry girl, where you just blow up overnight. If...
You get to eat for two. You don't have your period for nine
months. It's like a summer vacation.
Really? These are the best years of my life? I live with my
parents. I don't have a car. I'm a virgin. I have no money. And these are the best...
The Constitution says we have a right to bear arms. It was
written 200 years ago. We got an army, Jethro -- relax.
You know how your friends are all morons, and they got the
stories wrong all the time? It's the same here with the Bible.
The only part I believed was at the end of the movie when she
wouldn't move her ass over and let him on the raft with her.