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Kurt Metzger

Besides regularly performing in many a NYC comedy club, Kurt Metzger's credits include performing on Comedy Central's Live at Gotham, Showtime's White Boys in the Hood and as a regular on VH1's Best Week Ever. Kurt will be filming a half hour special for Comedy Central in August and will be appearing on Comedy Central's new show Important Things with Demetri Martin. In 2007, he was the stand out comedian at the Montreal Comedy Festival's New Faces showcase. He has also been writing for Chappelle's Show on Comedy Central and several other Spike TV, VH1 and Comedy Central Programs.
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Kurt Metzger Videos Kurt Metzger Jokes

Kurt Metzger - Ethiopian Food

Kurt Metzger has a theory about Ethiopian food.

Tags: Kurt Metzger (12), Comedy Central Presents (1803), ethnic (730)

Posted: 01/09/09
Views: 135,192

Weekly Evil - Four Reasons Why Wall Street is Evil

America's having a "going out of business" sale.

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Posted: 09/26/08
Views: 100,069

Kurt Metzger - An Eighth Cherokee

White genes force Cherokee genes onto reservations.

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Kurt Metzger - Food

Shouldn't Mexico's national food be popsicles?

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Kurt Metzger - The 101 Craziest Objects

People put a lot of strange things up their asses.

Tags: Kurt Metzger (12), kids (641), health (540)

Posted: 05/17/07
Views: 19,737

Kurt Metzger – Perfect 10

Honest to God, I thought an 8 was a good score.

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Kurt Metzger - Pot Commercials

Why can't grandma just bring dinner to the basement?

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Weekly Evil - Sexy Athletes are Evil

Leave some sexiness for the rest of us!

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Posted: 08/15/08
Views: 16,717

Kurt Metzger - Weird But True

Does your gynecologist have a tear-drop tattoo?

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Posted: 05/18/07
Views: 10,962

Kurt Metzger - Settling Down

It's called "settling down" for a reason.

Tags: Kurt Metzger (12), men/women (919), dating (637)

Posted: 05/17/07
Views: 8,419

Kurt Metzger: Between the Eyebrows and the Nose

I need glasses really bad, and it turns out I can't wear them, medically, because my eyebrows are too g**damn big. I'm not wearing glasses. And I...

Posted: 05/17/2007

Kurt Metzger: Liposuction

I saw liposuction. You ever see how they do that? It's, like, violent. They get the hose -- it looks like they're mad at how fat you are.

Posted: 05/17/2007

Kurt Metzger: A Perfect "8"

She's like, 'Oh, I'm not a 10? What does that mean? Did you settle? Did you have to settle for me?' Which is awkward because that's what I thought...

Posted: 05/17/2007

Kurt Metzger: The Only Animals in All of Nature

You know, human beings are the only animal in all of nature that sometimes shoves other animals up their ass.

Posted: 05/17/2007