There's this whole post-modern, nuevo beatnik, retro-bohemian
thing going on, you know what I mean? You walk into some coffee shops, and it feels...
Posted: 05/24/1993
How complicated can ice cream flavors be? How much can you put
in there? I mean, when the flavor's something like banana ice cream with caramel,...
Posted: 12/07/1998
You get all excited to give her the ring, and it's real
emotional, and you give it to her, and she cries. And a second later, you're like, 'Damn, I...
Posted: 12/07/1998
It's not all about love. That's half of it... The other half is
about that moment you have with yourself when you're looking in the mirror, and you...
Posted: 12/07/1998
I'm afraid of the guy judging me because I don't want him to
think I'm some sort of a freaky pervert. So now when I rent porn, I'll actually get a...
Posted: 12/07/1998
I'm just saying, 'Hey, throw me a bone. How about a smile, cute
t-shirt? Look at me.' Nothing -- unless it's a turn to their friends to go, 'Hey,...
Posted: 12/07/1998
The way I figure it, if you can't tell I'm high by looking at
me, I win.
Posted: 12/07/1998
They are not testing comics for drugs. If our job is dependent
on that, there would be three working comics in the country, and two of them would...
Posted: 12/07/1998
In show business, it takes 10 years to create an overnight
success. You've heard that, right? But what you don't hear is that that's the exact same...
Posted: 12/07/1998
I generally grow this beard out around Christmas. Then, I like
to go to malls dressed as Jesus, and what I do is generally walk through the mall,...
Posted: 01/11/2007