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I'm not getting smarter about women.
Men need to look tough and think they can get any woman.
It's not the woman's responsibility to have big breasts.
We are over-stimulated as a nation.
When you say "no," alcohol says, "you sure?"
When you're 40, you're not single. You're alone.
When I was drinking I thought I had a shot.
I want to check my phone so badly!
I think about sex a lot. A lot.
Did I win? No. Did I come in second? No.
Why did I get attacked by a sea lion?
Hey, Julie. This is Dan from Bank of America.
I practice tantrum sex.
Doug Stanhope hates how the elderly use their age as an excuse.
Women have an inherent sense of class.
Men are quite simple.