Don't ever fall in love with a heroin junkie.
Views: 3,068
Posted: 04/13/2006
Pat Dixon - Blow Up Doll
Making love to an inflatable woman is a lot of fun the first time.
Tags: Pat Dixon (7), Comedy Central Presents (2172), sex (1202)
Posted: 04/13/06
Views: 3,853
Pat Dixon - Depressed Clothes
Pat's clothes quit washing themselves after his wife left.
Tags: Pat Dixon (7), Comedy Central Presents (2172), sex (1202)
Posted: 04/13/06
Views: 4,117
Pat Dixon - Science
Men can't multitask, but they're sane.
Tags: Pat Dixon (7), Comedy Central Presents (2172), men/women (1155)
Posted: 04/13/06
Views: 3,284
Pat Dixon - Catholics
Catholics are like Ghostbusters.
Tags: Pat Dixon (7), Comedy Central Presents (2172), religion (404)
Posted: 04/13/06
Views: 3,256
Pat Dixon - Less Desirable Men
Pat would have to look under an interstate off-ramp to find a man less desirable than himself.
Tags: Pat Dixon (7), ethnic (870), Premium Blend (748)
Posted: 01/15/04
Views: 2,830
Pat Dixon - Midget Strippers
Why don't you ever see midget strippers?
Tags: Pat Dixon (7), Premium Blend (748), drugs (503)
Posted: 01/15/04
Views: 2,704
Kumail Nanjiani - New Drug Cocktail
You can't just sprinkle heroin on things and call it a new drug.
Tags: Kumail Nanjiani (14), health (657), drugs (503)
Posted: 11/06/09
Views: 13,242
Chris Hobbs - Heroin
Heroin addicts applaud by slapping their veins.
Tags: Chris Hobbs (2), alcohol (516), drugs (503)
Posted: 05/20/93
Views: 1,032
Mike DeStefano - Stay in School
If you do drugs for most of your life, you'll end up with a Comedy Central Presents special.
Tags: Mike Destefano (14), Comedy Central Presents (2172), kids (831)
Posted: 04/23/10
Views: 26,096
Uncensored - Giraldo Tribute - Rock and Roll Lifestyle
Greg Giraldo would talk about performing comedy like he was the Rolling Stones.
Tags: Greg Giraldo (67), drugs (503), exclusives (335)
Posted: 03/18/11
Views: 6,451
Wayne Federman - Jazz
Jazz began in New Orleans and spread like a venereal disease.
Tags: Wayne Federman (16), Comedy Central Presents (2172), health (657)
Posted: 08/14/03
Views: 1,461
Pat Dixon - Blow Up Doll
Making love to an inflatable woman is a lot of fun the first time.
Tags: Pat Dixon (7), Comedy Central Presents (2172), sex (1202)
Posted: 04/13/06
Views: 3,853
Gene Pompa - Gender Differences
You can avoid buying women drinks by acting slow.
Tags: Gene Pompa (14), Comedy Central Presents (2172), men/women (1155)
Posted: 03/25/04
Views: 2,244
Pat Dixon - Midget Strippers
Why don't you ever see midget strippers?
Tags: Pat Dixon (7), Premium Blend (748), drugs (503)
Posted: 01/15/04
Views: 2,704
Tig Notaro - Drop Out
If you drop out of school, you will become a stripper.
Tags: Comedy Central Presents (2172), kids (831)
Posted: 05/13/04
Views: 6,482
Patton Oswalt - Fake Boundaries
Patton Oswalt breaches some fake boundaries.
Tags: Patton Oswalt (47), Comedy Central Presents (2172), kids (831)
Posted: 09/03/99
Views: 11,145
