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Paul Provenza

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Paul Provenza Videos Paul Provenza Jokes
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Paul Provenza - Teach Masturbation

America wants to find a way to keep kids in school, right?

Tags: Paul Provenza (15), sex (983), kids (642)

Posted: 03/03/96
Views: 892

Paul Provenza - Funny Ways to Die

People shouldn't get so offended at jokes about death.

Tags: Paul Provenza (15), TV (384), death (212)

Posted: 03/03/96
Views: 872

Paul Provenza - Modern Love Making

These days, you have no idea who has what disease.

Tags: Paul Provenza (15), sex (983), dating (637)

Posted: 03/03/96
Views: 604

Paul Provenza - Vegas Is a Family Town

Poker chips, pogs -- what's the difference, really?

Tags: Paul Provenza (15), sex (983), pop culture (171)

Posted: 03/03/96
Views: 583

Paul Provenza - Stupid People

Everything in our society goes to the lowest common denominator.

Tags: Paul Provenza (15), The A-List (486), America (167)

Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 447

Paul Provenza - Windex

We pay the price for other people's stupidity all the time.

Tags: Paul Provenza (15), health (540), The A-List (486)

Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 396

Paul Provenza - Holy Loophole

All Jesus does is bitch, moan and whine.

Tags: Paul Provenza (15), sex (983), religion (341)

Posted: 10/08/96
Views: 394

Paul Provenza - Psychokinetic Powers

Stopping a clock isn't the same as stopping a train.

Tags: Paul Provenza (15), death (212), physical humor (202)

Posted: 03/03/96
Views: 381

Paul Provenza - Safe Sex

They should give condoms away in cereal boxes.

Tags: Paul Provenza (15), sex (983), health (540)

Posted: 10/08/96
Views: 353

Paul Provenza - In Case of an Emergency

Dead passengers may also be used as flotation devices.

Tags: Paul Provenza (15), flying (149), dark (84)

Posted: 03/03/96
Views: 314

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Paul Provenza: Chair in the Dictionary

It's the Collegiate Abridged Dictionary -- the word 'chair' is in there. What does this say about education in America? Are we to assume that...

Posted: 02/24/1992

Paul Provenza: Cigarette Warnings

I don't think they know -- the cigarette companies -- what photograph is going to end up with what warning, 'cause I think they'd plan a little...

Posted: 02/24/1992

Paul Provenza: Catholic View on Sex

The Catholics have an interesting view of sex. Sex is disgusting, amoral and filthy, and you should save it for one you love.

Posted: 10/08/1996

Paul Provenza: Give It Up for Lent

Every year around Lent, you have to give up something that's very important to you. One year I gave up Catholicism -- caught 'em on a technicality.

Posted: 10/08/1996

Paul Provenza: Church Is Theater

Religion's basically show business. Church is theater -- they got costumes; they got hairdressing; they got lighting; they got fog machines. It's...

Posted: 10/08/1996

Paul Provenza: Not Having Sex

If you're not having sex with somebody, you're not having sex with all the people they're not having sex with. You could catch virginity. That's...

Posted: 10/08/1996

Paul Provenza: Inner Child

I don't think I'm cynical. I guess I am -- that whole new age thing -- I can't. It's not for me. I found my inner child and sexually abused it.

Posted: 03/03/1996

Paul Provenza: Look at the Glass Realistically

I look at the world in a realistic way. Some people say the glass is half full; other people say the glass is half empty. I look at the glass and...

Posted: 03/03/1996

Paul Provenza: Airline Peanuts

I get peanuts on every flight. I'm on a plane -- all of a sudden, I gotta have peanuts? I go for months at a time without eating a peanut. What...

Posted: 03/03/1996

Paul Provenza: Stewardess

I had a little row with the stewardess on the plane, flying in here. I made the mistake of calling her, 'the stewardess.' 'No, sir, I'm a flight...

Posted: 03/03/1996

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