Pete Holmes does whatever he wants.
There are a lot of jokes that Pete Holmes wants to stop.
Pete Holmes doesn't trust adults who eat candy.
Pete Holmes can't grow a beard.
Pete Holmes' dreams are narrated by Morgan Freeman.
The government doesn't need to tap our phones when they can survey everything we do on Facebook.
Hustler Magazine is both true and false at the same time.
Whenever you're feeling good and right about the youth of today, just read some YouTube comments.
Pete Holmes doesn't have to be in a rush to be in a rush.