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View Robert Schimmel's Profile »
Do not stick anything in a dolphin's blowhole.
It might be kind of awkward if the shark wasn't even going to attack you.
A lot of commercials send the wrong messages about their products.
When you're old, you wake up angry.
Eddie Pence kicks Chihuahua ass.
Married men don't get guts from drinking beer; they get guts from swallowing pride.
Paralyzed Pets: all of the lovin' and none of the runnin'.
Go ahead, beat your kids -- but don't do it like Vargus' mother.
An owl that you lovingly raise in captivity will never stop trying to attack you.
People put a lot of strange things up their asses.
Jeffrey Ross misses the old Cookie Monster.
There's no use asking the dumb kids for answers.