Sue Murphy: Videos, Jokes, Tour Dates, Biography and more | Jokes.com

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Sue Murphy

Sue Murphy recently appeared on the "Late Show with David Letterman" and has made multiple appearances on the "Tonight Show with Jay Leno". She was seen on "The Jeff Foxworthy Show" where she was a series regular for the first season on ABC and has made numerous guest appearances on other sitcoms including guest starring on "Common Law" on ABC. She currently has her own half-hour comedy special running on Comedy Central. Sue has been nominated for Best Female Stand-up in the 2001 American Comedy Awards.

She has also appeared on a multitude of stand-up comedy shows: Comedy Showcase on CBS, Comic Strip Live on FOX, Caroline's Comedy Hour, MTV's Half-Hour Spotlight, and The A-List and Premium Blend on Comedy Central. She's been on HBO and Showtime and has been a host for Comedy Central's Short Attention Span Theatre. Last year Sue performed on The Stand-Up Show taped in London for the BBC. She has appeared in major comedy clubs throughout the United States and Canada. She has been featured at the Montreal International Comedy Festival and the Edinburgh International Festival in Scotland and most recently at the 2001 HBO U.S. Comedy Arts Festival in Aspen.

Sue has appeared with many of today's top comics such as Jerry Seinfeld, Jim Carrey, Rita Rudner, and Robin Williams. Sue has appeared in numerous films and was the voice of the wise-cracking Latara on the ABC Saturday Morning Cartoon Ewoks.
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Sue Murphy Videos Sue Murphy Jokes
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Sue Murphy - Guy Noise

Guys make strange noises when they look at beautiful women.

Tags: Sue Murphy (17), men/women (919), The A-List (486)

Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 3,884

Sue Murphy - Garage Sale

There's nothing more pathetic on earth than a garage sale.

Tags: Sue Murphy (17), money (471), self-deprecating (211)

Posted: 12/15/04
Views: 2,384

Sue Murphy - Moving

There is nothing worse than moving.

Tags: Sue Murphy (17), Shorties Watchin' Shorties (148), Nick DiPaolo (60)

Posted: 11/17/04
Views: 1,958

Sue Murphy - Moving

There is nothing worse than moving.

Tags: Sue Murphy (17), Comedy Central Presents (1803), observational (335)

Posted: 01/18/99
Views: 1,583

Sue Murphy - Buying a Bathing Suit

Clothing store employees must mock everyone who tries on a bathing suit.

Tags: Sue Murphy (17), men/women (919), The A-List (486)

Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 1,582

Sue Murphy - B.O. Man

On the hottest day of the year, it's inevitable that you run into B.O. Man.

Tags: Sue Murphy (17), men/women (919), The A-List (486)

Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 1,229

Sue Murphy - Tan

Sue Murphy tans for too long.

Tags: Sue Murphy (17), health (540), fashion (181)

Posted: 05/04/04
Views: 1,146

Sue Murphy - Being Cool

Everybody's a dork.

Tags: Sue Murphy (17), Comedy Central Presents (1803), imitations (789)

Posted: 01/18/99
Views: 1,010

Sue Murphy - Guys

Two of Sue's ex-boyfriends are gay.

Tags: Sue Murphy (17), Comedy Central Presents (1803), men/women (919)

Posted: 01/18/99
Views: 747

Sue Murphy - Different Kinds of Barbies

The best Barbie was the Malibu Barbie with the bendable legs.

Tags: Sue Murphy (17), sex (983), The A-List (486)

Posted: 02/24/92
Views: 583

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Sue Murphy: On Moving

You take a glass, and you wrap it in paper, and you put it in the box. You take another glass; you wrap it in paper, you put it in the box, and you...

Posted: 11/17/2004

Sue Murphy: Oven Mitts

I made a casserole last week. The only trouble is when I wanted to take it out of the oven, I realized I don't even own any oven mitts. But...

Posted: 02/24/1992

Sue Murphy: Big Hair

You know when I think it's hardest to be a girl? I think it's summertime -- hot weather. For a woman, it's hard to maintain the high vertical...

Posted: 02/24/1992

Sue Murphy: Yearly Bathing Suit Shopping

I buy a bathing suit every year. Why? Because I can't get enough of the act of humiliation, ladies and gentleman. Generally, guys, do you buy...

Posted: 02/24/1992

Sue Murphy: Wanting Grandchildren

And now I'm getting older, so my mom wants grandchildren. I said, 'Mom, go for it.'

Posted: 02/24/1992

Sue Murphy: Garage Sales

You sit in your driveway with all your sh*t. 'Does anybody want to buy my crap? It's been kind of a rough year.' And it's not even your good crap,...

Posted: 12/15/2004

Sue Murphy: Over-Tanning

I can't even tell you what I did to my head. It would have been equally effective as if I'd gone to McDonald's and said, 'You know, I'd like an...

Posted: 05/04/2004

Sue Murphy: Las Vegas in July

Because I'm a genius, I went to Las Vegas in mid-July. I went there because the flight to the sun was all booked up.

Posted: 11/28/1997

Sue Murphy: Lusting After Leonardo DiCaprio

Isn't that -- at my age -- isn't that illegal? I mean, isn't that like me hanging around in front of a grammar school with a van and a kitten? Dirty.

Posted: 01/18/1999

Sue Murphy: What I Want in a Woman

I relate to men so much, I thought maybe I should date women. And then I thought, what would I want in the perfect woman? And I think it would have...

Posted: 01/18/1999

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