Tess: Videos, Jokes, Tour Dates, Biography and more

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Juicy

Women in Politics

Working Women

Let's see my life is so fascinating that I don't even know where to begin. Ok how about here, I was born in Meridian Mississippi but was raised in Sandusky, Ohio. I am the youngest of four children (two boys and two girls). I was raised by a single mother, I'm pretty sure that's where I get my strong nature. I hate to sound so typical but I as the class clown and the recipient of several... [MORE] Let's see my life is so fascinating that I don't even know where to begin. Ok how about here, I was born in Meridian Mississippi but was raised in Sandusky, Ohio. I am the youngest of four children (two boys and two girls). I was raised by a single mother, I'm pretty sure that's where I get my strong nature. I hate to sound so typical but I as the class clown and the recipient of several detention slips. Now when I look back on those days the damn teachers just didn't understand what future star they had in their midst. They should have let me explore my creative side instead of stifling it with rules and regulations. Forgive them Lord for they know not what they do.

Ok, at the age of 18 I was very content with working at McDonald's and after all I was a swing manager. That position carried a lot of clout you know, I kept feeling the call of California. So I packed up my stuff and headed out to BeverLee. Well first I made a little pit stop in the Bay Area, Oakland to be exact. Wherein I did something really crazy, I got married. Well that lasted about 90 days and off to divorce court I went skipping all the way. By now its 1997 and after all that hoop la, I decided to start my comedy career because I had a lot of stuff to say and somebody was going to listen damnit!

So now it's 1999 and I decided to move to Los Angeles where I have been able to put my career into motion. I have been totally blessed with the things I have been able to achieve here in LA. I was invited to participate in one of the most prestigious Comedy Festivals there, it is for comedians in the U.S. Comedy Arts Festival in Aspen, Colorado. I followed that up with a guest star showcase on NBC's "Late Friday's."

My career goals are to star in my own sitcom totally written about me and for me. I think that we need some real comedy on television. Enough of all these little skinny bitch's switching across the TV with boney legs and long fingers talking about "I'm sexy."

I believe that it's time for the big girls to shine and we will inherit the earth. [LESS]

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Matt BraungerDare: If you have a parent that's never seen "Lost," watch it with them tonight for the first time and pretend it's a comedy.8:58 PM Today

Jo KoyThank u RT @LinzG14: Everyone HAS to watch @chelsealately tonight!! EPIC roundtable!!!! @joshwolfcomedy, @Jokoy, @LoniLove!! So excited!!8:54 PM Today

Doug BensonEdward R. Murrow would've had a completely different legacy if he ended his newscasts with "Food fight and good luck." #dumbtweet8:43 PM Today

Kirk Fox@kylecease I'm nice in all messages. I was just curious about the flight. Wait, Pilot Season, are we still on the plane tweet.8:41 PM Today

Kirk Fox@kylecease I didn't know a friend was dying on the other side. Can I just call someone in that city and tell them to send a paramedic.8:39 PM Today

Eugene MirmanPassed a guy with crazy spiked hair in a purple disco-ball-like jacket. I bet he's in this year breakout band.8:39 PM Today

Kyle Cease@kirkfox dude, you are so much nicer in direct messages! Pilot season is good. I am working on proving it. 2 new movies, a book on the way8:38 PM Today

Josh SneedMy Bachelor Party Photo Album - http://bit.ly/cgA3cn8:32 PM Today

Kirk Fox@kylecease I worked hard to get where I am not. As a professional I can tell you what you are not. It's up to you to prove that you are.8:30 PM Today

Paul F. TompkinsLook, Memphis, I answered your questions: http://bit.ly/cQC2hY Now come to my show! #tompkins3008:26 PM Today

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