Some New Yorkers were pissed off when Kmart came to town. They
were outside the store protesting. They didn't even know what to say. They were...
Posted: 07/23/1999
They sell book lights now, a little spotlight you attach to
your book. You know, I actually thought about buying one of these, and then I...
Posted: 07/23/1999
I discovered a great store this past holiday season: The Body
Shop. Oh my God, that is the perfect last minute thoughtless gift warehouse.
Posted: 07/23/1999
This friend of mine told me to get Quicken for my computer.
He's like, 'Todd, you gotta get Quicken. Look man, I make graphs of my finances.' Wow....
Posted: 07/23/1999
Some guys go crazy with the masturbation. I was reading this
article on this thing, autoerotic asphyxiation. Some guys actually choke themselves...
Posted: 07/23/1999
I was at a bar with a friend of mine. This woman walks by, and
he goes, 'I know that woman. She gives the world's fastest hand jobs.' I don't know...
Posted: 07/23/1999
I was dating a woman. Before we had our first little sex talk,
she actually said this to me -- she goes, 'Todd, I've had anal sex before, but, uh,...
Posted: 03/30/2006
You ever have sex with someone you don't know that well?
They're gonna spend the night; they ask if you'll set an alarm: 'Hey can you set an alarm?...
Posted: 03/30/2006
I'm a Jewish guy. Saw another Jewish guy on the street wearing
a pink yarmulke. I walk closer, not only was it a pink yarmulke, it was made to look...
Posted: 12/20/2009
People ask me all the time, 'Todd, when you're on the road at
these comedy clubs, do you hit on the waitresses?' People, I'm a professional, and I...
Posted: 03/30/2006