Tom Rhodes: Videos, Jokes, Tour Dates, Biography and more | Jokes.com

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Tom Rhodes

Living in Amsterdam currently hosting my own late night talk show called "Kevin Masters starring Tom Rhodes" on Dutch television's Yorin network channel 7 airing every Tuesday at 10pm. The show is formatted to be your typical late night American talk show but what makes it unique is it's an American experiencing and being taught Dutch culture and society and I interview Dutch celebrities... [MORE]
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Tom Rhodes Videos Tom Rhodes Jokes

Tom Rhodes - Managing Money

When taking money out of an ATM, act like a crazy person so nobody messes with you.

Tags: Tom Rhodes (17), imitations (801), money (483)

Posted: 05/31/94
Views: 385

Tom Rhodes - What it Takes

Why does it always take a war to get anything done?

Tags: Tom Rhodes (17), money (483), religion (342)

Posted: 05/31/94
Views: 973

Tom Rhodes - The Second Chance State

How does a masking tape "X" on your window save you from a hurricane?

Tags: Tom Rhodes (17), Comedy Central Presents (1892), imitations (801)

Posted: 08/05/01
Views: 698

Tom Rhodes - Math

The problem with being an astronaut is that you have to be good at math.

Tags: Tom Rhodes (17), Comedy Central Presents (1892), growing up (426)

Posted: 08/05/01
Views: 539

Tom Rhodes - Bad Relationships

A bad relationship is like a personal Vietnam.

Tags: Tom Rhodes (17), Comedy Central Presents (1892), men/women (950)

Posted: 08/05/01
Views: 973

Tom Rhodes - Permanent Damage

If on a first date you're asked what kind of drugs you like, there will probably be trouble later.

Tags: Tom Rhodes (17), Comedy Central Presents (1892), kids (652)

Posted: 08/05/01
Views: 465

Tom Rhodes - The Condom Generation

These days, casual sex leads to a day of praying and scrubbing.

Tags: Tom Rhodes (17), Comedy Central Presents (1892), Week (1001)

Posted: 08/05/01
Views: 618

Tom Rhodes - Bad Traveling

When American's travel, they become the suggestion box for their country.

Tags: Tom Rhodes (17), Comedy Central Presents (1892), ethnic (743)

Posted: 08/05/01
Views: 599

Tom Rhodes - Tobacco

Unless you want an unruly linen closet, don't chew tobacco.

Tags: Tom Rhodes (17), Comedy Central Presents (1892), imitations (801)

Posted: 08/05/01
Views: 537

Tom Rhodes: Hurricane Safety

They also tell you to fill your bathtub up with water so you'll have fresh drinking water. Apparently, these people never seen my bathtub. I'd...

Posted: 08/05/2001

Tom Rhodes: Childhood Dreams

When I was a little boy, I wanted to be an astronaut. That was, like, my first dream in life. Whatever happened to childhood dreams like that, huh?...

Posted: 08/05/2001

Tom Rhodes: Love Is Powerful Stuff

Love is powerful stuff, man. Love will make you move all the way across the country and sell all your sh*t -- just to get away from that person.

Posted: 08/05/2001

Tom Rhodes: Penguins Are Better Than You

A penguin has the same little penguin for a total little penguin life. Think how many screwed up relationships you've had, how many times you...

Posted: 08/05/2001

Tom Rhodes: Arguing Parents

My parents are divorced. It was ugly. My parents argued all the time before they got divorced. Came home -- my parents started wearing their...

Posted: 08/05/2001

Tom Rhodes: English Food

Food is terrible in England. That's no joke. If you go there, don't even bring a change of clothes -- wear what you got on and bring a suitcase...

Posted: 08/05/2001

Tom Rhodes: Hard on Americans

They're hard on Americans, though, man. They heckle you in England as an American for things you have no idea -- 'Screw you and the Panama Canal...

Posted: 08/05/2001

Tom Rhodes: Always the Negative Side

In America, all you ever get is the negative side of drinking: 'He got drunk and killed a busload of children.' Come on, man. It's time someone...

Posted: 08/05/2001

Tom Rhodes: Mixing the Races

Keep mixing the races until we're all the same grayish color -- then there'll be no more racism, once we're all the same shade, man. 'Hey, gray!'...

Posted: 08/05/2001

Tom Rhodes: Melanin

Everybody should know what melanin is, man. I think that's where racism comes from. White people are jealous of people with melanin. Yes, that's...

Posted: 08/05/2001