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If you're running late for work, blame it on El Nino.
It takes the Village People to raise a child.
Warren will take anybody's day off to party.
Rich people used to have better lives.
Mike Tyson's like a buff Rain Man.
Jack wants to go broke before his bank does.
It's hard being an Asian actress without role models on TV.
In the South, they think that "Hanukkah" is a duck call.
Every president has had extra-marital affairs.
Why is abortion bad but capital punishment good?
George Bush doesn't want a new Texas.
John's grandfather was very racist.
He's not fat; he's gravity enhanced.
A five-foot tall mom isn't very intimidating.